Not a Good Feeling...

I didn't get a chance to sleep well last night because my thoughts decided to haunt me. It didn't help that every time I fell asleep...I had a terrible dream. I woke up every hour. I didn't like the place I was in mentally...although I was in the best place in the world physically withL.o.v.e Everything seemed to be okay on the surface (although mentally I was still fucked)... and then you got the phone call. Yes you didn't display dismay on your face...but it was all in your voice. Even worse was the phone call to your friend who was crushed. Showing no emotion is in your nature. However, I always see through it. From the moment the news was said... I was devastated. It hurts me tremendously to hear the hurt of others. Especially when it comes to death. Now after church, I log onto twit to take my mind away from it... and I'm slapped in the face with tweets...A follower of mine was in the same spot as the tragedy. Although, I didn't know these victims personally...my heart goes out to them and their families. Especially... raven. As if things aren't hard enough at this current time for raven....having to bury a friend or classmate every other month... I can't fathom the feeling. I'm not in a good place mentally...to any extent. I'm doing a good job of staying strong for your sake...but it's written all over my face. I often empathize too strongly when others are hurting...it's a gift AND at the same time a curse. At times like this..i always repeat a excerpt from one of my. fav tattoos (on my rib)..."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change". My heart is heavy... The world is too sad nowadays...